i mean,just what am i doing?
haha.
--
[10 of your favorite songs]
01) nickelback : someday.
02) evan and jaron : the distance.
03) saves the day : at your funeral.
04) blessid union of souls : standing at the edge of the earth.
05) bic runga : she left on a monday.
06) plumb : damaged.
07) sarah mclachlan :do what you have to do.
08) sarah mclachlan : stupid.
09) jimmyeatworld : if you dont,dont.
10) lifehouse : everything.
[09 things that you wna do]
1) lose weight.
2) get a tan.
3) go to bali.
4) shop like crazy.
5) travel.
6) grow taller.
7) read angst-ish books.
8) buy a cd.
9) sleepsleep.sleep.
[08 things you enjoy doing most]
1) laughing.
2) making noise;being hyper.
3) sleeping.
4) playing nball with the gang.
5) hugs.
6) trying on impossible clothes.(:
7) bestfriend escapades!
8) throwing mogus at ppl.hurr.
[07 favourite memories]
1) crying ourselves silly after one lost match.
sad songs on the radio
and heavy heavy rain.
2) gallivanting with rahdoll and elibird stealing toilets signs.
3) bimbo shopping with nings.
4) silly long msging convos in sec one.
5) endless neos with merliao.
6) camera days in pschl.
7) cycling at the falls with jiejie.
whyd i suddenly see a replica?
things that once were,
are again.
not to me,though.
they were gone for awhile.
till now.
it seemed like i forgot.
but i guess it was all just at the back of my head.
wooden block ness.
please dont make it hurt again.\:
i woke up with funny eyes today.
overslept so i missed physics.
:b bwahaha.
i dreamt merliao died.
it was a horrible dream..
i was actually crying in my sleep.
it was so surreal.
like it was really happening.
its like the first time i felt so helpless.
i was just walking arnd thinking abt merliao
and then finding myself crying some more.
yahwell.we were supposed to do smth together
the following day
and some guy asked me a question abt merliao.
i said smth like
"i was supposed to be here with her"
think charlie was next to me when i started bawling agn.
the earlier part of the dream was even weirder.
i mean,depressing.
i was with jiejie mummy and mah grams.
we were watching the ferris wheel and this other ride.
sortof like the pepsi sponsored ride in escape.
just that it was huge.
and manymany ppl cld fit into one section of it.
apparently the ferris wheel knocked into that other ride
and everything came crashing down.
the ground was like splitting apart
and the ferris wheel started sinking like
the ground was quik sand or smth.
i dno how i knew merliao was in the other ride
but i just did.
so jiejie and mummy were like in awe.haha.
and i was panicking.
its weird when you have these kindof dreams.
i was so convinced it really happened.
and i remember even saying to merliao
"aiya.not like youll die tmw"
irony.\:
i actually cld feel it hurting.
just like when i dreamt jiejie died.
seriously,
one of us had to go first,
let it be me.
i wldnt be able to take feeling so helpless
i'd drive myself crazy.
well.thank goodness?
its all just a dream.
