and then i realize
im one of those idiots
who're so caught up with themselves
so caught up
with their own melancholy
that they dont care abt anyone else.
the other day
for example..
ndru asked me to cheerup -
asked me what was wrong;
obviously i didnt wna tell him.
anw
he knew i was having a rotten day
but he didnt know why
and so he said smth like,
"im not having a very good day myself
ppl talk to me and i go 'huh'
and theyve to repeat
it five to six times before i understand"
then i said,
"good for them"
and he laughed.
yahwell.to be honest
i really couldnt careless.
i had four blinking convos
a minimized the sims and i was playing hexic.
but my mind was far far away.
wasnt even concentrating
but i was still going abt talking to them and stuff.
im so irritating.
especially the good for them thing.
i think i even said good for you as well.
i cant believe i wasnt getting on his nerves.
anw im getting on my own
cuz i cant stand my selfishness.
like the previous entry was how i felt on tuesday
cuz it really feels like theres no hope.
it still does anw.
its already threeseventeen
and im waiting for my hair to dry.
have to get up at eight tmw
to go to schl again. _shrug*
todays wednesday thursday - considering the time.
have to get missjane to sign the letter.
andimnotevensureshewill.
ahh.i cant wait for tmw to pass.or at least tmw morning to pass.
then i can sit back.
and wait for either no reply
or a negative reply.
whattodo.
when youre stupid,youre stupid. see.
yet another selfish statement.
im so annoying.\:
uh.theres no spacing cuz im reducing
the amt of noise made by the spacebar cuz korkor iswas sleeping.
and so iswas everyone else.
so i think i'll go sleep too.so i went to sleep.
ahh,rubbish.
night-
no,morning..
tuesday feels like forever ago..feels
so far away.
frankly,im glad it does.|:
this time its different.
this time i know what the result will be.
im not gonna get in.
and thats that.
slaps me
and i fall flat on my face.
i dont wna try anymore.
_shrug ):
