cant remember whether it was today or yesterday..
oh i think it was today cuz smelly cut the flexible rule open
to take the bendable metal thing in it, out.
so i took it and bent it into a heart
and she was all like
"ahhh! so niice.."haha
amusing..then eddie-act cool [or someone else
but im quite sure it was eddie]
asked her to lend it to him and she went
"no.youll break it."
and i was think haha.exactly.give your heart to a guy and
guess what he does to it? it took her like ten seconds to realize what she had said
cuz she meant it literally but
anw,thats not the point.
yat came walking to our table and was like
"yah..exactly!thats our job,thats my job.breaking hearts.i get paid to."
i wasnt even thinking but i spoke it out
bastard. _shrug
its true
he does breaks hearts like noones business
the only girl who broke up with him was ernie
whom he "truely loved" ah.bull..*grin
anyways not like i care.
but i hate what he said.
its a guys job to break a girls heart?
like, what?
he actually meant it kie.
urghh. wtvr.
i dont even know why girls throw themselves at him.|:
stupidity!!
nvm.i dont care.=p
--
not yat anymore -
found out more stuff today.
stuff that make me feel even worse.
stuff i seriously i wish i hadnt known.
its just that
i never thought he was such a person.
and i dont want to believe that he is.
this is all stupid mann.
--
and then
just now he called.
a different person.
and he was crying
and saying things like hes tried and hes a failure
and he really cant.
and i just sat here
listening.
and wondering when this will ever stop.
sometimes i wish things could be like what they used to be.
and sometimes i dont.
but most of the time
i think, i do.
wish they were happy.
wish he hadnt been and wasnt such a irresponsible freak sometimes..
wish she hadnt been selfish and left.
wish they hung on.
wish i didnt screw up so often.
wish i could laugh and laugh and laugh and feel retarded
even if it left mornhow and maria looking at me funny.
thinking that i was spastic or silly wtvr.
wish i didnt have to see an alert of your neek when you come on.
wish you didnt just come online.
wish i was somewhere far far away from all this occasionally.
wish i was just plain
today everyone was in a foul mood.
today eh emac gninnur nehw eh draeh em ksa gnaikihc ot og yawa.
i watched the them practise the t-day dance today and i thought it was a flop. =x heh?
today i decided to take my medicine again.
started reading prozac nation today.
ah im rubbishy..
i feel like an idiot.
i dont wanna believe you or them.
this all feels fake.
i dont know how you can take it.
it feels horrible knowing and
the hell, i really wish i didnt.
actually i felt it.
when you wanted to tell me while walking today
i felt it coming..
just thought it was only appropriate to
laugh.
maybe it wasnt so appropriate
but how else could i have reacted?
this is all so stupid.
i didnt know how to say this before
but now that youve discovered it,
i felt it last week
quite long ago.
but i just thought it was only right
to keep it to myself.
so
im sorry.
on a lighter note,
i read a "put-a-smile-on-your-face" thing
on wuffens lj.
"there are twelve pots of honey in my cupboard and they've been calling me for hours. I couldn't hear them properly because Rabbit would keep talking, but if nobody says anything except those twelve pots, then i shall know where they're coming from."
it made me laugh out. (:
aii.
--
\\and when the stars fall
i will lie awake..
youre my shooting star.
i dont like korkors keyboard.
caught [how to deal] today.
mandy moore is so pretty!!
cannot stand it..haha
but trent ford isnt all that goodlooking.
oohwell..
--
slept most of the morning away.
got up and did alittle alot packing
then went to meet phangsuhua and maria for how to deal.
been seeing alotalotof them recently.
like suddenly spending alot more time
with them than anyone else but
that shouldnt really be anything surprising cuz
i see them everyday and stuff.
wanted to go watch fireworks at the esplanade
but was super disappointed cuz the stewped trees blocked it
so we were left watching the colours reflect in the sky
not the fireworks.ohyah
and hearing the sound of fireworks.
depressing mann.heh
so we bought chips and
sat outside the library
half watching this gross couple displaying their affection for each other
in public and
listening to phangsuhua tell us schl ghost stories
giving her approving looks and
convincing her that "yah we believe you! really..!" (:
had a funny fun-fun time.
so she left us she ran off she abandoned us to take her ninesixty -
direct bus back home.
she
l e f t
us
b e h i n d .
so maria and i walked to the mert station.
by ourselves bcuz
phangsuhua left. missed two trains cuz it was too pack.
bwah.
i realize that crappy convos are often the funniest
most ego
and long lasting.haha =p
the both of us are like super spastik.
anyways.the pooot maria was telling me
some funnay rubbish so i missed my station
and ended up stopping at clementi too.
ahpooot.heh
went to get a drink cuz we both ate half the packet of lays.
each person half.
phangsuhua refused eat.
heehee.
and then bcuz i dropped my phone and
got the cover cracked at the corner,
i missed the oneosix
which thankfully wasnt a bendy boos.haha
yahwell
maria waited till the next oneosix came
then he walked home.
(: sweet maid.haha =x
but yah,super sweet.
haha..it left me smiling the whole bus ride home cuz
its quite funny right.
that he waited.
so yah. today was fun funnay.(:
