but my <3 is returned to sister Winter`

` Saturday, July 19, 2003

i got a
heart full of pain
head full of stress
handful of anger
held in my chest
and everything left is a waste of time
i hate my rhymes
im riding on the back of this pressure
guessing that its better
i cant keep myself together
bcuz all this stress
gave me smth to write on
the pain gave me smth
i could set my sights on..

[i am the oppressed..haha!]*

to the asshole
who is trying to hack into my blog,
hello!(:
go away!
i mean.whatd you wanna do?
publish rubbish?
steal my ugly template?
aiya please lorr.
--
its friday!
and its twentyseven minutes to twelve.
so ive got not much time to savour the "woohoo!its friday" moment..
bwah.
im hoping to meet nings tmw.
and im probably meeting her tmw.
h a h a ! :p
oohs. yesterday was the best day in ~~my life~~
i mean
the schl year.
i got three PPRs
which makes five for this sem so far..oh
the proness of it all. hah
three more and i get a beta.
like how fucked?

i should wash my mouth with
dentol/oral-b/lactacyd/baking soda
yah wtvr
cuz ive been very.
ahh. help.
used to think it was just self-control.
and i still think it is but
sometimes..its just. ah.
anyways. it was daniels best day too cuz
we got the same PPRs.
stewpid jane jeyanthi
and her bloody mood swings.
its weird cuz im pissed
pissed that im getting into trouble.
pissed that i got three PPRs in like
ten minutes.
time check - 0000h.
i mean i havent gotten into PPR trouble this year lorr.
besides my socks which they ALL complain abt everyday.
"vanessa from 2/6?
oh the one who refuses to wear proper socks right?"
french connection united kingdom.
control.
forget it. im going to study.
i mean cram.

i wish time would just stop and let me catch up..
quote elibird. ):

` Tuesday, July 15, 2003

you cant make your heart feel smth it wont..
--
morning will come
and i'll do whats right
just give me till then
to give up this fight.

` Monday, July 14, 2003

i hate you cuz you made her sad
i hate you cuz you made her cry
i hate you cuz you hurt her
i hate you cuz you dont know
i hate you cuz you pretend not to
i hate you cuz you dont care
i hate you cuz you think only you have feelings
i hate you cuz youre going on with your life like its nothing
i hate you cuz she isnt
i hate you cuz she still thinks of you
i hate you cuz you broke her heart
one too many times
i hate you cuz i bet you lied
i hate you cuz i know you did
i hate you cuz she isnt angry with you
i hate you cuz she thinks you never really loved her
i hate you cuz she says "its okay.its over"
i hate you cuz its not okay
but it sure is over
i hate you cuz you wanted there and then
i hate you and your way of handling relationships
i hate you cuz there're stewpid ppl who admire you
your religion
your faith
and to think i once did
but not anymore
bcuz, you creep
one mistake
spoils everything
and she says "be forgiving"
but i freaking am not
i'll hate you even more if you do that to someone else
she did alotalot for you
and if you think its right to do what you did
youre so wrong.
so ~~fucking~~ wrong.
cuz it was all just a give and a take
she did all the giving and you just freaking took.
that four-letter word isnt a give and a take buddy
i believe its a freaking two way thing
it has to be reciprocated dun it?
look at you
they think you know all abt love
g i v e m e a b r e a k .

` Sunday, July 13, 2003

[to alter our lives, to make up my mind, to finally decide..]*

2255h.
the wkend is up!
rushed to get smth to wear.
rushed to get out of the house.
rushed to church.
and finally get to church,
on time if it wasnt church anni,
but today considered late.
service started at 1055h.bwah
got snapped at
not once but
a few times
and was pissed mostly till it was time to go for ss.
ahhhf_orget it.
then we took forever to settle on a place to have lunch and
we didnt exactly have the nicest lunch and
yah. today was not the best day.
--
was really really glad to see leekeatmun again.
just that i didnt express it.
not on my face la.
just that "mm.yesyes.okay" thing.
shes leaving on sunday.
next sunday.
thats like in seven days and
its wayy too fast. ):
aii.

ahhh.
my blouse isnt ironed.
im quite scared of schl tmw.
oh help.

is dekap down or smth? hah.

my world is a stand still
and this is bcuz of you.

the poor donkx of ppl like me
who go to schl and
come home bitter bcuz
for getting highest in standard for an individual subj,
you get a lousy fifteen buck kino book voucher.
fifteen bucks is just plain stingy.
the morons who get us to raise twentyfive thousand
and want to rip some more off us and
then we end up with fifteen buck book vouchers.
thanks
alot.
"you annoying whiny idiot, ness!"
so yah
I HATE SPEECH DAY.
ate like six soon kuehs at the reception.nyehnyeh
which was for prize winners only.
so basically
i wasted one perfect saturday in schl.
i couldve been out with jiejie or nings.
speech day just totally ruins my plans mann.
and guess what,
i feel like eating now. haha
--
shut up.