but my <3 is returned to sister Winter`

` Thursday, July 10, 2003

eating m&ms:
the one with the peanuts.
trying to talk to phangsuhua at the same time.
i like that neo alotalot.
neoprint.
keanu reeves - neo! :x
keep searching for a nice nice photo of the entire gang..
i mean, i dont believe we dont have one nice gang photo.
|: aii.
--
schl was the norm.
started late
ended fast.
was almost late again and
korkor lied to me when he said it was 0640h.
cuz when i finished washing up and
got back to my room to change,
it was only then that its was 0640h. no..0638h.
hurhur.
managed to lie to suanlam and escaped from pe.
i did have a letter of excuse for yesterday
but it didnt state that i could not take pe.
nvm la huh? haha.
so phangsuhua and i had a useless conversation
abt someone not impt.
--
jiejie'll be home in arnd three hours!
i'll be happy in three hours..

` Tuesday, July 08, 2003

i try so hard but it never seems to be enuff.
i know they think i dont care abt anything.
i want to be happy.
i wish i could simply ignore my thoughts.
i hate me.
i miss us being so close in the past.
i fear rejection.
i hear "have you ever needed smth so bad you cant sleep at night.."
i search for a way out.
i believe God works in ways i cannot see..He will make a way for me.
i wonder for how much longer i'll continue hurting.
i regret pretending i dont care.
i love the gang nings ruii.
i care but i pretend not to.
i always get pissed off.
i cry when it hurts too much to keep it inside any longer.
i fight with korkor..fists and all. hurhur haha!
i write sad rubbish.
i win insult thingies. hurhur
i lose alotof sleep.
i confuse myself.
i listen in class. IM A LIAR! haha
i need the schl term to end now.
i breathe and know i dont deserve to.
i should stuff myself in a box and send me to timbuktu! hurhur|:
i dream then wake up and get back to reality.
i feel stupid many times a day.
i am sick and tired of this shite.
i have schl tmw and have to get over this.

ripped from cin.

like many other days, i hate today.

` Monday, July 07, 2003

whats the point of trying to reach compromise when
youre the only judge and jury
whats the story?
i cant make you see that im not always wrong but
i cant make you right
its time to move on
im moving on.

dug that up.
can still remember why i put it in my ej
but yahwell its over and i dont really care anymore so.
--
i think smths wrong with my msn.
i hate msn hates me.
thats exactly it mann.
stewpid. either that or
someone hacked into my acct and deleted him. oh
and zw too. hurhur
i shouldnt have added him again.
like i'd be better off and happier then
i wont think abt what i dont want to think abt but
keep thinking abt.
theres only so much my puny head can take.
hurhur. maybe that person should come back again
and delete him again.
and this time i make sure i dont realize then i'll just
~~pretend not to know~~ not know
and the uhm..i'll be happy. woohoo!
stewpid. i dont like him alotalot.

cuz youre gone
and you aint coming back
yea youre gone
and you aint coming back.

dont come back!

my bestfriend makes me unhappy.
not nings.
the other one.