but my <3 is returned to sister Winter`

` Saturday, July 05, 2003

qns flew and
words were hurled into the air
and when the smoke had cleared
i saw you lying there
i used my words like bullets in a gun
to pick your ego off like skeet flung
in the gallery of fools
too many words come from my mouth
i wish would remain unsaid
ive had to eat them all and
now i must confess
it was a silly thing to say to you
it was a silly thing, i know

we know.

[i think you ought to know that
i intend to hold you for the longest time.]*

the rgs concert was fun. (:
the ice kacang song was so funny/cute ish.
sitting there the whole time laughing at lenifs lame
lame comments. making fun of wuffen and
cheating her into sitting next to meee.
laughing with wuffen abt useless things.
"the girl looks like shes gonna cry." haha
yahwell it was all fun. lenif and his superman ~~rubbish.~~
--
i didnt feel hungry today.
had a hashbrown during recess and then fries for dinner.
oh and a strawberry sundae! after the concert.
now im so full i feel like regurgitating everything out.
i took like five minutes figuring out the spelling of regurgitate mann.
ohwell. nings went swimming today so i guess we wont go tmw.
i wanted to tan! haha. ohwell.
im feeling so tired and im dying to sleep but
im still sitting here typing this rubbish in what i wore to the concert.
what is wrong with me?
there is so much hmwk for this weekend and i dont know when im gonna do it.
i wanna go to the esplanade again.
for fun.
hurhur..yayy. im glenn-ish.
uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
haha spas. thats so frankenstein.
leekeatmun is coming back eleventh july.
not thirteenth!
who told me thirteenth? oh.
she told me thirteenth.
i said thirteenth so many times now the spelling looks wrong.
but. hurhur..it isnt!
retardead. yes with the a. its nice pronunciation.
im too lazy to bathe.
im slouched in this chair.
i hate speech day.
i dont wanna wear my socks two fingers above my ankle.
i dont want to tuck my shirt in properly.
it is uncomfy.
i cant do anything abt hair dropping into my face.
i dont want to tighten my laces during pe.
i dont want to pull my socks up, literally.
i dont want to do cip.
i dont want to fill up the nkf card bcuz i think theyre rich enuff.
i want to get another cd.
i want jiejie to come home now.
leekeatmun is coming back a day after jiejie.
i dont want to go on stage on speech day.
i am tired.
i am not grouchy though i sound like i am.
i am being a brat
which i havent been for quite a while.
i think the green stick of glue is cool.
hurhur.
i want it to rain tonight.
i want to listen to jewel.
i want to watch miss saigon with sarah again.
i want to meet nings.
i want to talk to rui.
no i dont! hurhur..
i just spotted mopiko on the table.
and i have mozzie bites on my back.
that means they went up my shirt! ahhh.
sick mozzie.
haha. im so not funny. hahaha. but im laughing.
im amusing myself.
and if all this were to suddenly disappear
i'd laugh even more.
i want to do my hmwk.
i want to study.
im lying! hahaha.
no actually, some weird part of me actually does want to.
i saw chewjingming today.
hes ugly.
but nvm, im ugly too.
hahahaha
i feel like daniel.
im saying stupid things.
like daniel.
its all the new sitting arrangement's fault.
i
am
having
another headache.

random unorganized thoughts.

one last one:
my butt hurts from sitting on this chair.

` Wednesday, July 02, 2003

this is my call, i belong to You
this is my call to sing the melodies of You
this is my call, i can do nothing else..i can do nothing else.

` Tuesday, July 01, 2003

["this was my nice boy."]*

think alice sebold isnt extravagantly pretty but
its so sweet the way that tom guy liked her.
dropping by her house just to talk and stuff..heh.
_shrug ohwell.
--
second day..!
sucked.
cuz i woke up with the monster headache i had last night and
that stupid sim woman got upset with the class again.
like she does every lesson. bwah.
stayed in class during recess and ~~turned rotten~~. (:
and then every lesson was fullof tchers screaming at us
for our "fu(2)zao(4)-ness".
i think im in words alot. i also think
im in alot of words. haha
but i cant really tell the difference. *that retarded retarded smile
i somehow only felt the first-day syndrome today.
schl ended fast enuff so things werent too bad.
just wanted to get out quikquik cuz that sim woman was being a pain.
lifeskills was fun though. did the
"write one nice thing abt everyone in class" thang.
all the rushing and laughing at what other ppl wrote
or maybe just daniel cuz he wrote the same ol' everythings for everyone.
"handsome"
"pretty" rubbish mann! (:
superrr lame.
--
suddenly recalled maria [not luluwin] once asking me to go
for lunch with him cuz everyone went back and he was by himself.
i didnt go so he ended up eating alone. |: like
i'd never be able to do that but anyways. i gave
the excuse that i was helping them in schl. well
i was! but
i couldve left if i wanted to.
its just strange but
i think i did the right thing not going. ah..i dunnoe.
just a strange thought/memory-ish thiiing.

` Monday, June 30, 2003

this is to YOU. you know who.
i mean seriously
if you cant even like yourself and you
have to turn yourself into someone else,
then how do you expect him to like you
for who you are?
--
ive been giving it alotof thought.
i dont understand why..if you dont know me
like super well, how would you know how im feeling inside?
how would you know im not
"smiling from my stupid heart"?
maybe im genuinely happy when im with ppl but its a
totally different thing when im by myself?
so you can actually see thru me? or
do i just smile too much i dont realize im not doing it from
my stupid heart.
what the hell, maybe you are right.
cuz why would i care so much abt a stupid sentence if
it werent true.
bwah. i hope i "truly smile from my heart one day.."
~~spastic.~~
i dont know why im being so bitter abt this.

` Sunday, June 29, 2003

can i say im angry with schl?
my two weeks in sg back from canada
felt like tons of rush and
now schls starting tmw.
thank gooness theres no english tmw or i'll be so
screwed.
i dont like schl! suddenly having that scared feeling again.
i havent had it since primary schl cann. haha
and tmw i expect to go to schl to be totally clueless cuz
i missed one weeks worth of work.
wtvr it is,
three weeks better zip by
the same way three weeks of hols did.
nyehnyeh!

its been too long and
im lost without you
what am i gonna do
said i been needing you
wanting you
wondering if youre the same
and whos been with you
is your heart still mine
i wanna cry sometimes
i miss you..

so trashee. ):