tonight, i.. -went for joeys barbeque
which was hot, smelly and boring.
actually, thats pretty typical of a barbeque
if your close friends arent there
to make a fool out of you and themselves.
sighh.
-slept in the car on the way home as my
bother was driving at god-knows/hr.
-blasted the radio into my ears [which is why im having a headache now.]
and slept the entire ride home.
-brushed my teeth first thing when i got home.
-asked korkor to buy the jaychou album and
i feel cheena again. =|
okay.. this is the highlight of my night.
-screamed at rui. and now im feeling bad for being mean.
im a mean ness.
tohyingying.
yah.. she just started talking to me,
out of the blue,
yesterday.
it was weird. she asked if i was going out with rui.
im obviously not, right?
"oh c'mon. be realistic.
me? going out with rui?
fwah!"
spent the entire day at home by myself..
till i couldnt stand it anymore.
wanted to go to her house to use the comp but
he made comments.
dont say it if you think its wrong. "i dont want to explain anymore.." he said.
wtvr. i dont see how you can just force me to stay home and
freaking wait for the internet at home to just magically appear.
"cant you just wait?" he said.
yknow what?
NO. and if i had the guts to, i wouldve
screamed that into his ear and slam the phone down.
but i didnt.
i just said that i wasnt going to wait and
now, im in ahmas house.
today, i plucked up the courage
to delete my inbox.
im such a liar. i didnt.
it was an accident.
my inbox is now empty and im
sad.
fwah.
--
read nings ej.
the "bianca/ness again?!" stuff.
i dont know.. i just think its quite irritating that theyre
bothered by our going out too much. shrug.
i just think that if ning and i arent bothered by it.
why should it bother them right?
i mean. so yea, maybe its cuz we live so close now..
and it sortof feels like forever if we dont meet in a day.
but its not as if we really take advantage of our closeness
to see each other.
aiish.
sometimes it just makes me feel bad or guilty
that we're seeing too much of each other.
but whats so wrong abt that right?
"well, that just means theyve never had a friend close enough NOT to be sick of. seriously? i dont think i can ever be sick of her. not unless theres seriously something wrong with one of us. =)"
ning and i are different.
i wouldve said "not unless theres smth seriously wrong with one of is."
[useless information.]
but yknow what?
getting sick of each other?
its not going to happen.
nothing going to be seriously wrong with either of us.
but then again, if smth does go
wrong, we'll put each other back
on the right track! =)
so yea, im never going to be sick of her.
no.. nope!
im a pretender.
its sick.
no wait, i think its more
like two-faced.
bitch. yah.. thats it.
she feels too close to be an entire bitch to.
no.
i dont want to lose her.
not a girlfriend like her.
now im going to have to go to her office by myself.
not that its a bad thing at all. [cuz its not.]
--
its like a give and a take.
i feel like im giving more than im taking.
but who am i to say so right?
how would i know?
aiish.
"i dont feel like going anymore.."
"huh? oh.. okay."
and i try not to look disappointed.
maybe im just being..
toot. overly-sensitive
or smth.
but that doesnt sound right.
yah, toot better.
heh.
im here waiting
for smth new to break my heart. so callous laden,
i cant feel a thing at all.
so will you catch my fall?
